Note: The ‘love’ I referred to throughout this post pertains strictly to romantic love.
In this post, I merely seek to express my subjective opinion on this issue. I do not expect others to share the same opinion as me, but I only hope to perhaps, offer one more perspective for others to see. I am a teenage heterosexual Christian living in a country made up mostly of religious residents and a country which is considered to be conservative by most other nations.
Homosexuality has been the pinnacle of debate over the past few years, with various groups of people coming together to fight for what they believe in. With the recent news of homosexual marriages being legalised all across the U.S., it got me thinking: What constitutes the freedom to love? Can love truly be a choice, with no boundaries at all? Is there a fundamental moral principle that should be adhered to when it comes to choosing the “right” person to love?
I do believe in love as a choice, but it is a choice that comes with certain boundaries. That’s why I don’t believe in complete “freedom” of love. There must be a balance to everything, and a fundamental moral principle at the bottom of every action. A lot of times people see freedom as something with no boundaries, but I dare say that freedom does need to have certain boundaries (ironic, I know).
For example, if we’re all free to do what we like, then why can’t we steal? Why can’t we kill people whom we don’t like? Why are these all wrong? Don’t I have the freedom to choose what I want to do?
But we can’t, simply because it’s wrong. There’s a moral bottom-line to everything, so even if we’re free to express ourselves in any way we want, it still wrong for us to “freely” make crude remarks against people of other races/religions. (And by the way, being able to make rude comments about other people without getting punished for it doesn’t make it acceptable or right.)
I know it can be argued, “The example you raised doesn’t make sense. Homosexuality doesn’t hurt anyone.”
I won’t go too deep into it, but I do think that legalising homosexual marriages and making it legal for homosexual partners to raise children robs these children to their fundamental rights to being raised by two biological, heterosexual parents. No parent, father or mother, can be replaced by a second father or second mother, because the absence of one parent can really hurt these children in the long run. But, that’s an argument for another day, and by more knowledgeable researchers and scholars.
Even if you still don’t agree with that example, it’s fine. My point is, everyone has a different moral bottom-line, which should be respected. Just because someone feels homosexuality goes against their moral boundaries, doesn’t mean they should be ridiculed for being “overly conservative”. Likewise, a person who thinks having homosexual relationships with another is well within their moral boundaries should never be discriminated against for their actions. It’s simply a difference in opinion, culture and values.
“But, I was born a homosexual. I can’t help liking people of the same sex. Are you saying that it’s my fault?”
Firstly, I don’t believe in love as something innately defined in your biological makeup or DNA. There’s no “soul mate” predestined for us in the stars, nor is there an eternal romance for a specific other half in this world. All of us have a choice in picking our “other half” to journey with for the rest of our lives.
I have seen many posts online and heard people tell me that “homosexuals don’t have a choice” in choosing the sex that they are attracted to. Some argue that it is a part of their biological makeup/DNA, although that argument is not backed up by scientific evidence.
As I have said, I believe love to be a choice, hence I believe that homosexuals do, in fact, have a choice in choosing who they want to love romantically. Whoever you choose to see as a potential romantic partner will ultimately influence you to be attracted to that person. I say this only based on personal experience, because I believe it to be a matter of mindset. I have a friend who is rather tomboyish, and there have been instances when I began to see her as a guy rather than a girl, and if I didn’t have a boundary for myself to say that, “Hey, she’s not someone who can be viewed as a potential romantic partner,” then I think I would probably have ended up feeling attracted to her in that sort of way.
You have a choice in pursuing those initial feelings of infatuation for another person. For me, I chose not to pursue those feelings, and since infatuation is but a temporary thing, I got over it rather quickly. (And both of us are still very good friends to this day.)
So if you’re someone who believes that you don’t have a choice in the sex that you’re attracted to, believe me, you do. No one else can make that decision for you. Do not ever delude yourself into thinking that you were made that way simply because it’s the commonly accepted “truth” by the majority and whatnot. I have experienced it firsthand, and this is my story. Maybe others have a different story to tell, but this is what I believe in and I want to let you know that you have a choice in who they choose to pursue romantically, because I know that I had the chance to make that decision for myself.
So at the end of the day, the choice to love is yours, and yours alone.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
star in a galaxy 